WHERE THE EFF DO I EVEN START HERE?!
Well, first of all, Hi. I am thinking of you. You are not alone. Shit is scary right now, but we are literally all in it together & as much as I hate to be writing about my wedding when there are such huge things happening in our world right now & so.much.tragedy – this is an update I promised to deliver for you guys…
…but I feel like writing this post that I have been putting off writing for weeks needs to be done for me, cause I think I am in denial & maybe if I write it out, I will start to believe it? We shall see. First, let’s recap our OG wedding plan, ICYMI:
Our wedding was/is (tbd?) planned for August 15th in our favorite city in all the world, Copenhagen. We only were planning to invite about 35 people tops to Copenhagen & had a week full of amazing activities planned- a rehearsal dinner at a restaurant we love, a post-wedding dinner party with a special surprise for our guests, brunches set up, bike tours, etc. etc. EVERYTHING is planned, booked, paid for. Our tickets are purchased. The last thing to do was send out the official Copenhagen invites, which we have not yet gotten around to.
THEN- we had our reception planned for September, after we have returned home from Copenhagen… married. We knew some very important people would not be able to make it to Copenhagen, so we wanted to make sure we had a reception complete with a first dance, dance with dad, cake cutting- all the wedding things.
It was the best of both worlds. Our dream wedding. An intimate ceremony in the most special place to us & then arriving home to celebrate with all of our loved ones. This whole plan didn’t come easy to us, there was a lot of back & forth deciding what wedding “equation” worked best for us, but once we decided on this- I finally got SO excited. I have always been excited about marrying Zack, of course, but a traditional wedding was never something I wanted. This plan was just SO perfect for us & we were thrilled about it.
SO, now that we’re caught up- a lot of people are asking me what the EFF we are doing with our wedding plans in regards to COVID-19. GOOD QUESTION GUYS. We kinda know, but also we are in a situation where we are on the “brink”… I think? Our destination wedding is in August, our reception is in September. Do you see how we’re kinda in limbo here?
We don’t have a crystal ball & we don’t know how this is all going to go, but we have made the executive decision that May 1st is our “call it on Copenhagen” date. We need enough time to change plans if need be, & really any later than May will be too late for people to book tickets to a foreign country. We do have a back up plan in place & our insane/epic/master wedding planner, Nicole, has our ducks in a row so if/when we call it on Copenhagen, the back up plan will go into effect asap. What that back up plan is- we combine the wedding ceremony with the wedding reception weekend in San Diego.
The bright side- our wedding reception was planned for Labor Day weekend, so we will have our wedding ceremony the day before the reception. I still want to keep those two events seperate because keeping the ceremony intimate is important to us & having a huge party RIGHT after our wedding just feels overwhelming for me. I feel like I am gonna be tired? lol.
Now, if things aren’t looking better by September, I will give you another update. We are really taking it week by week & are hoping for the best. Oh yah, as far as my Bachelorette party goes- honestly, haven’t gotten there yet. Not my main concern. Maybe I do it after the wedding? I should probably get on that. Note to self.
SO YES, it definitely sucks that we might not have our dream Copenhagen wedding or bachelor/bachelorette parties, but at the end of the day- we are okay with it. We know that although a wedding is A VERY important life moment, the health of our loved ones is more important & we would never put anyone at risk. We’re pretty chill & flexible and right now, we’re just going with the flow.
& now, time for some really good BTS advice from the wedding planning QUEEN herself- Nicole of Exhale Events.
I wanted to bring our AMAZING wedding planner on the blog to touch on more of the “backend” side of things. I honestly owe Nicole SO much, she is the world’s best wedding planner, totally get’s my vision, & I don’t know what the eff I’d be doing right now without her. As messy as all of this is, she possesses such a calm/”we’ve got this”/nbd energy that I LIVE FOR & I wanted to share this with all you brides out there!
Without further adieu, here’s Nicole:
Weddings and events are heavily impacted by COVID-19 – and for most spring brides, their dreams and visions are put on hold. As a wedding planner, I aim to have all the answers to ensure your day is going to be perfect, but in this unchartered territory – I don’t have any more knowledge about what’s going to happen than my brides. I do have a few tips for anyone moving through this process and how to plan even when we don’t know what will happen.
1. Review your contracts:
Before you think about postponing and/or cancelling, review all of your contracts to understand what you may or may not be financially responsible for. While most vendors and venues are being flexible about postponements, others are handling cancellations very differently. What I encourage our clients to remember is that these people depend on this income for their livelihood, so if they refund everyone, they might not have a business to come back to after this situation is over.
2. Plan a Soft Date with your Vendor Team:
If your wedding is affected, or you think it may be affected, don’t wait until your venue tells you it can’t happen. Reach out to your venue and your VIP vendors, the ones you can’t do your day without and find a backup date that works for everyone. Every vendor will handle this differently, but I’ve found that a good majority are willing to hold another date just in case your event would be forced to cancel
3. Have a Honest Conversation:
No one knows what tomorrow or the next few weeks will bring, and that’s scary! It’s okay to ask your vendors and your family for their input on what you should do. No one has the “right” answer, and there isn’t a definitive right or wrong on the situation. At this point, you and your future spouse have to do what is in the best interest of you and your loved ones. It’s okay to ask vendors the tough questions about refunds, transferring fees and anything else that may be on your mind.
4. Lean In to The Discomfort:
It may happen. Your wedding may be postponed, or destination weddings may be cancelled. It SUCKS. There is no getting around that emotion – and nor should you. The world is going through something very difficult right now, and on top of it, your dream day may not look anything like you want if you had an overseas soiree planned. It’s okay to grieve and be upset about this – chances are you’ve been planning for months. Take the time to process and figure out your emotions, it is OKAY to not be OKAY for a little while.
5. Breathe and Be Kind:
Things are changing on a daily basis. With the ever changing and increasing government regulations, one thing said an hour ago may no longer be relevant. What I’m telling me clients is to understand that the rapid pace may cause some frustration, but to take a moment and to breathe. Everyone is doing their best to make sure that your wedding can happen, even if it’s at a later date.
I can personally say that after I’ve had the official postponement call, I hang up and cry. Not because I know the wedding won’t happen, but that I’ve given horrible news in an already shitty situation. We are all working through this the best we can, and kindness, in any small gesture or manner, goes SUCH a long in this environment.