My Weed Order + How To Be a Functional “Stoner”

fashionlush, functional stoner, cannabis dose

LET’S CHAT WEED- more specifically, my most asked cannabis question of all time…

“how did you figure out which strain was right for you & what is the proper dose for being a functional ‘stoner’?”

Ah, yes, let’s unpack this- shall we?

**brb though- let me smoke some weed first**

Yes, I absolutely did just smoke some weed before writing this post. TBH, I always smoke weed before having to do anything that requires my creative attention. People are often so confused by that- “doesn’t it make you lazy & just wanna snack and sink into the couch?”.

NO- it doesn’t. I haven’t been that high since the last time we were in Copenhagen (weed hits different over there for sure), and before that… highschool. I don’t smoke to get high, I actually hate being super high. It makes me anxious and I don’t love the munchies.

I smoke to feel calm, to feel level, & to lessen my general anxiety. I also smoke because a health practitioner told me it could actually help with inflammation form my auto immune disease. So basically, I smoke for my mental & physical health.

Sure, it’s always fun to smoke a joint and giggle on the weekend, but the day to day isn’t about that. It’s more practical. Let’s break it down, here are my top tips for being a FUNCTIONAL (& productive AF) “stoner”.

5 TIPS FOR BECOMING A FUNCTIONAL “STONER”

** side note: I always put “stoner” in quotations because the stigma attached to that word bugs me, but it’s just the word we use to describe people who smoke a lot of weed. We either gotta find a new word or shatter that stigma- capiche? **

1. find your proper dose (my weed order!):

First and foremost, you gotta find out what works for you. This could take some trial & error- but first let’s just break down the weed strains.

First you’ve got Indica, which my Mom always says “in the bed” to remind you Indica make you a little more sleepy, a little more of a full body high experience.

Than we’ve got Sativa, which is the opposite of Indica. It’s a head high & gives you more of an uplifting/energetic vibe.

& of course, there are Hybrids- which are a mix of the two. Best of both worlds!

Now, if you’re thinking with common sense- you’d think Sativa in the day, Indica at night. That works for a lot of people- but that actually doesn’t for me. Sativa makes me incredibly anxious & I am already an anxious person- so I avoid Sativa at all costs. Typically when people tell me that they had a bad experience when smoking weed, my first thought is that it must have been a Sativa.

That said, an Indica in the day is too heavy- so I am team hybrid all the way. To be more specific, I prefer an Indica dominant hybrid. Also, percentage of THC matters as well. I personally like my THC percentage to be anywhere from 16-20% (for reference, 27% would be a high amount of THC). On the weekend I am good with 20% THC, but weekdays I try to stick to the 16% (unless I had a particularly stressful day lol). Cherry Pie is one of my personal favorites :).

Like I said, it takes trial & error to find which strain works for you- so try a few, tell the Budtender you aren’t sure what you like & they will hook you up with a little of each.

Take notes on how it makes you feel, use Leafly.com- it’s a great resource for learning more about different strains/effects, & if you ever feel too high- bite into a lemon or have some CBD!

2. buy in bulk(ish):

I am not saying to go out and buy an ounce of weed, because that’s excessive- but I think buying dime bags is counter productive. I feel like when you have less weed, you smoke it faster & then you are in a pinch to get more. You’re running to the dispensary all the time, it costs you more, and you will just go through it faster. I personally think it’s better to buy an eighth- it’s more cost effective & you will be less likely to burn right through it. Literally.

3. everything in moderation:

You know this, in all things in life, it’s all about moderation. Limit yourself & give yourself boundaries. For me- I limit myself to smoking later in the day during the week. On the weekends, I will smoke during the day & do some creative work- but with my more “admin” work, I wait till I get everything off my to-do list.

Also, read the room. Don’t smoke before an important Zoom meeting or any appointment where you need to have a clear head. That’s the opposite of what we are going for here.

4. don’t smoke & chill…. always:

Sure, it’s Sunday & you just wanna smoke a joint and watch a movie. I feel that, it’s one of my favorite pastimes- but it can’t be your everyday smoke routine. Smoke & move!! Go to a yoga class, take a hike in nature, go do something fun with your friends (stay social!), do a creative project, organize the house- just don’t let your self be lazy. Personally, weed helps me laser focus, so it’s great for me when I have to do something that requires my undivided attention.

5. choose your smoke buddies wisely:

Okay- so this isn’t really relative right now because we can’t hang out with people, but one day we will be able to go out again & being a social stoner is important! If the group your hanging out with wants to smoke to get high & then just sit and listen to music in the living room and order Postmates, that’s going to rub off on you. Find some social stoner friends who like do smoke & move with you!