Throughout my life, I’ve always had a weird relationship with the whole idea of my Birthday. Don’t get me wrong, I am a Leo- so I naturally love a celebration surrounding me (lol)… but for as long as I can remember, Birthday’s just put me in a rare mood. I’m not a therapist, but I have been to enough of it that I’d guess my Birthday anxiety comes from the fact it’s pretty much a literal representation of time passing by.

SO, with all that’s going on the world right now, I was thinking to just eliminate that potential Birthday anxiety & sit this year out. Order in some Postmates, maybe get wild with some kinda gluten free pasta, & binge watch Lifetime movies. SO- basically, just another day.

Of course, I changed my mind. I know myself too well, & I know I’d be bummed if I let my Birthday pass by. The world feels very much “on hold” lately, things are in limbo, and now more than ever- the little moments are so important. I am SO glad I changed my mind because it was honestly one of my favorite Birthday’s yet. Not only was it the DREAMIEST/most aesthetic picnic I’ve ever seen (we will get to the details in a second)- but it was just so nice spending some time outdoors with my loved ones while eating yummy food. Literally, my idea of a perfect day.

NOW- LET’S DISCUSS THIS PICNIC SITUATION

I have been LOVING a picnic lately, but let me tell you- I am not a domestic goddess. When it comes to things like parties, dinners, cooking, etc- I am not your girl. I can come up with the creative vision, shit I could lay it out on Photoshop exactly how I’d want it to look- but actually putting it together, NOT MY THING.

Enter: Picnics by Nature, aka the driving force behind me even having a Birthday party tbh. 

One of my friends actually send me their page on Instagram & when I saw the picnics they set up for you, I knew I wanted to have a Birthday party after all. So basically, Sarah from Picnics by Nature offers to come to any place of your choosing (park, beach, your backyard, etc) & sets up the most INSANE picnic of your life.

It’s genius, the aesthetic is unmatched, it’s outdoors (which helps everyone feel comfortable with covid, also the group we were with is part of our “circle” who we’ve seen), & it was honestly just perfect. We had a group of 8, but she also offers 2 person picnics which is definitely something I want to do for me & Zack one of these days. VERY romantic.

She set up some low lying tables for us, tons of cozy pillows on the ground for everyone to sit/chill, and the food- OMG THE FOOD. I recently just switched to going 100% gluten free in my life- so I was worried about the food. It’s my Birthday, I want to eat it all & Sarah made that happen. Pretty much everything on the table was gluten free, we had so much fruit, snacks, meats, cheeses, PITAYA (freaking love pitaya!), sweets, & more. The food situation was a dream. She also provided fruit infused water for everyone & we brought the Martinelli’s sparkling cider (we had a bottle of champagne, but honestly- Martinelli’s is MY JAM!).

I am a little bit obsessive when it comes to aesthetics, so I did a TAD bit of micromanaging when it came to the decor. In the morning we met Sarah at the park to bring over pretty much all the things in my house that I love to add to the vibe- we brought my pillars, tons of flowers, about 20 pastel balloons, all my weird vintage pieces (shells, swans, etc).

I absolutely love how Sarah from Picnic by Nature sets everything up, so I didn’t do much here. I just dropped off all the decor in my house (lol) that I wanted included & then let her style it. She, of course, blew me away with the entire thing. Honestly, never seen anything cuter than this Birthday picnic.

& my cake, where do I even start with my cake. Is it not the most stunning cake you’ve ever seen?! One of my longtime friends on Instagram reached out & said she’d love to make me a cake for my Birthday, which was absolutely amazing not only to have a cake (cause tbh, that wasn’t planned yet), but to have it made by someone I connected with over social media.

She is a self taught baker, created her own brand called Baked by Erin, genius name btw, & she really blew everyone’s mind over this cake. Not only because it was so gorgeous & matched the picnic theme perfectly (the daisies gave me life!!), but it was gluten free/vegan/and made with coconut oil so it’d be anti-inflammatory for me. I WAS SHOOK over this detail, but even more so- my friends/family couldn’t believe it was all of those things because it was the most delicious strawberry shortcake we all have ever had.

♥ the most perfect day with all my people ♥

THINGS I’VE LEARNED THIS LAST TRIP AROUND THE SUN

1. it’s okay not to be in control

This is a hard one for me, but if anything, this year taught me to really let go of the need to be in control. Not really cause I wanted to do let go of that control, because let’s be real- I am a Leo & I love to control a situation, but 2020 really took the reigns on being in control & showing everyone who is boss here (not me, that’s for damn sure).

I especially learned this with the cancellation of our dream wedding in Copenhagen. This was/is a hard pill to swallow for me. Planning a destination wedding is a lot of work, cancelling one- also a lot of work. I struggled with the cancellation of our dream wedding, but ultimately- I have *almost* gotten over it. It’s not in our control, we can’t change it, SO MANY BRIDES are in the same boat as me, and it’s just time to move on.

2. the art of letting go of the things you can’t change

& in that same regard, letting shit go. I hold onto things, big time. I fixate on things that I want to change until I can find a way to change them. With all that’s happened this year, I have learned- not all things can be change & the energy exerted in trying to change unchangeable things is just not worth it. The only thing you can truly change is your outlook, & that is where my focus has shifted this year. Really work on my outlook on situations. I guess you could say, I am learning to be more “STOIC” in all aspects of my life. Yes, I read the book “The Daily Stoic”, which was definitely helpful- but even more helpful, real life showing you what is up.

3. i’m an empath

I can’t quite remember how I figured this one out, but I am pretty sure someone on Instagram actually messaged me about my anxiety struggle & said “I think you’re an empath” which led me down a rabbit hole of learning one of the most important things I have learned about myself. Once I came to terms with what it meant to be an empath (dictionary definition: a person with the paranormal ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual), it’s like puzzle pieces just fell together.

Through learning this one thing about myself, so many things about me started to make sense. Like why I cry when I see a stray cat because I think it needs to be cuddled, why I feel bad for inanimate objects (yes, I literally apologize to my furniture if I forget to dust it), & most importantly- how all the hurt that has been going on in the world has effected me physically and mentally.

Being an empath is definitely a double edged sword- it’s great to feels things so deeply, but it also can be very emotionally draining. I have been working a lot this year on accepting the fact I am an empath & finding new ways to deal with situations that don’t necessarily “stifle” the fact I am an empath, but support it while also taking care of my emotions in a gentle way. I will do a full blog post on this soon :).

4. health is wealth

This year has been a big one for my health. As mentioned a few times here on the blog, I was diagnosed with Graves Disease two years ago & if we’re being honest- I didn’t do my part in handling it when I was diagnosed. I really have taken things into my own hands just recently & taking control of your health it a really empowering feeling.

The past month of my life, if we’re being honest, has been rough. I have been faced with some scary options to handle this condition & have had to make some big judgement calls when it comes to my health. I opted for the less scary option, which has involved A LOT of changes for me. No gluten, changing my long time habits, tons of doctors appointments, a BUNCH of supplements, etc. etc. It has been challenging, but it is all for the better and really gave me so much perspective on how important it is to focus on your health first and FOREMOST.

5. how to say no

blah- this one sucks for me & I am still a WIP in progress here, but I feel like this year- my backbone finally has started to grow. I have been working really hard on the art of saying NO. Like I said, I am an empath, so the fear of hurting peoples feeling is a big one for me & I have always been very loose with boundaries for myself. I will say yes to favors for friends even if I know I am biting off more than I can chew, I say yes because I don’t want to hurt anyone but in turn- I am hurting myself by saying yes when I really need to be saying NO.

I wrote this post a long time ago, really as a message to myself, about THE ART OF “NO” & I reference it often as a reminder that I can say NO to people without ruining relationships, without people being hurt, & without causing myself emotional stress.

… and that my friends, is what I’ve got for you today. I had the best Birthday & this last year has clearly been a huge year for growth for me. I am excited about what is to come, remaining optimistic, & I hope all of you are hanging in there. WE GOT THIS, we are in it together <3.