This isn’t my first post on selfies and narcissism, I talked all about it here sharing my thoughts on an AMAZING article I read on why selfies are actually important & empowering for women.
Today’s post is different though, because now I have actually been selfie shamed, & obviously- I want to talk about it.
Rewind to last weekend, I posted a video in the car of me, Zack, & our two dogs singing (the dogs weren’t singing). I sing ALL the time into my Insta-stories cause a. I like singing & b. I listen to ridiculous 90’s/00’s throwback jams ALL day & I just like to give people a little nostalgia w/ my musical choices (i.e. the thong song/no scrubs). I am not taking myself seriously, I am tone deaf as fuck & usually doing this after a gnarly spin class… so I am not looking cute.
I am not sexy singing, that’s for damn sure.
It’s all in good fun, until someone decides that they want to put in their two cents.
I got a message a few hours later, directed at that same story of us in the car saying, “I used to like you, but now I am sick of your narcissism. You are fucking annoying, not cute, & anything you can tell me I already know”.
YAH GIRL, tell me how you really feel.
Now, some bloggers may just block the haters & move on with their life, but I have never been one to zip my lips. You got something to say, well so do I.
I asked her why she think I am a narcissist & what about a video of me having a great day with my boyfriend & dogs disturbed her so much.
To paraphrase, cause she went on and on and on, “taking selfies means you think you’re really pretty” (& she threw in many times, I am not)…. “you have nothing to offer the world”… and, the real zinger:
“you are what is wrong with our society”
Whoa whoa whoa, bold claim. I am what is wrong with our society cause I take selfies? Not gonna lie, this is where I got heated. I am okay with the hate, the mean comments, but to say I am what’s wrong with society as you are literally ripping me a new one for taking photos of myself seems a little bit like she may be what is wrong with our society (not to mention her main photo was a selfie, which you better believe I pointed out).
Here’s the thing…
I LOVE a good selfie. If I am having a good hair day, which is far & few between, I am gonna document it. Maybe I have new earrings & the best to show ’em off is with a selfie. Maybe, for once, I got my eyebrows to match & I just am proud of that handiwork.
Seriously though- WHY DO I EVEN NEED TO EXPLAIN MY SELF(IE)?!
Women spend so many years being torn down for the way they look. Do you know how many friends/acquaintances/strangers/dentists have told me that I would be more attractive if I fixed the gap in my two front teeth? Yah… that’s why you guys never see me smiling with a toothy grin, because I am insecure of that gap after being told so many times it is not a pretty feature of mine.
Women should 100% take selfies ALL the damn time, because all women should love the way the look enough to want to flip the camera on their face. I’d rather see women taking selfies, feeling themselves, then sitting in a corner hating themselves because someone told them they weren’t attractive enough.
I have spent so many years not loving some of my features due to what other people told me was wrong about them, so if I get a selfie & like what I see- that feels GOOD. If that’s what makes someone a narcissist, so be it.
NOW- your guys’ turn to weigh in. I am sure you have some thoughts on this subject, whether good or bad, I wanna hear ’em!
p.s. shoutout to the girl who called me out on Instagram. If you’re reading this, thanks for the content!!
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wearing: red high waisted flare pants | California crop tee | chain belt (sold out- similar) | QUAY x Desi ‘High Key’ Fades
[ PHOTOS BY ARIELLE LEVY ]