WEDDING ARE SERIOUS SHIT GUYS.
Like, I knew this from the movies, but when you’re a Maid of Honor you get a firsthand look at how gnarly it is to plan a wedding.
I am not sure if it’s preparing me or horrifying me.
ANYWHO….. my best friend is getting married!!! Torrie & I have been best friends since we were 6, we grew up across the street from each other, lived together after college, & we Gchat/Facetime/text every second of the day- she is pretty much my sister & I was so stoked when she *knew it was coming* asked me to be her Maid of Honor.
I have been in a few weddings, but this is my first go round at the coveted Maid of Honor title (the cool kids call it a ‘MOH’) & it’s been a learning curve FOR SURE. I am not one of those girls who is OBSESSED w/ weddings & has studied the proper etiquette on how to be the perfect Maid of Honor. When I was first asked, the first thing I did was Google “what does a Maid of Honor need to do?”.
Literally, clueless.
Now we’re about 2 months from the wedding & I feel like I have really flourished in my role as Maid of Honor. I have had some Maid of Honor mentors along the way (some of the bridesmaids!) & wanted to share with you guys what I have learned in regards to being a PROPER MOH + my Maid of Honor tips & tricks to making your life as a Maid of Honor 100x less stressful. If you’re best friend has marriage in her future, bookmark this. You’ll need it.
5 Maid of Honor Tips + What I’ve Learned So Far…
1. ASK YOUR BRIDE TO HAVE A MATRON OF HONOR. LOL
I don’t know if I have ever been more grateful for something than I am for the fact my bride picked a Maid of Honor & a Matron of Honor. I know you can’t technically ask your bride to do this, but manipulate her by telling her everything will be 1000x better if you have help.
I couldn’t imagine doing all of this on my own. I’d lose my fucking mind. The bachelorette party is this weekend & luckily for everyone, Torrie’s Matron of Honor is really good at all the stuff I suck at- like planning dinners, making reservations, & cooking food. I am handling all of the decor/props/& goody bags (wait till you see these goody bags!!!)… which is 100% more up my alley. We compliment each other so well & it has seriously been a lifesaver.
2. PINTEREST IS YOUR BFF
I have never used Pinterest more than preparing for this wedding. The bride & I worked on multiple boards for the decor, the bridal shower, the bridesmaids dresses, her dress, the seating, the reception- EVERYTHING. This sounds excessive, but trust me, it’s the best place to start.
Pinterest was also used to plan the entire Bachelorette party (although the bride isn’t on that board, cause it’s a surprise!) & is great for learning about Maid of Honor duties!!! I found this epic Maid of Honor flow chart that I now have saved to my desktop as a constant reminder.
3. POLL WEBSITES ARE A GAME CHANGER
Let’s get real, IT’S AWKWARD as a Maid of Honor to start things off asking about budget… but also important to get that out there asap. Weddings for bridesmaids can be expensive, so you gotta a. gage everyones budget & b. give the ladies a chance to make a decision to attend or not based on what they can feasibly spend.
The first poll we set up was locations- Mexico ($$$), Palm Springs ($$), Santa Barbara ($). No one voted for Santa Barbara, majority voted for Palm Springs. There, now everyone has a SORT OF idea of what to expect price wise. I mean- we obviously discussed details with everyone before booking anything… but this got the conversation started without making anyone uncomfortable.
Once that was out of the way, we did an online poll for dates to determine which weekend was best for everyone. THIS WAS A REAL TIME SAVER & we were able to decide on a date quick without a ton of back & forth emails.
4. SPREADSHEETS WILL CONSUME YOUR LIFE
This wasn’t a huge shock to me cause spreadsheets already consume my life (true life: I am addicted to spreadsheets), but if you’re not a spreadsheet person & just got assigned Maid of Honor, it’s time sharpen your spreadsheet skills.
To give you a taste of the spreadsheets I have so far: decor needed for the bachelorette, grocery list for the bachelorette, bridesmaids dresses (broken down by color), a running list of bachelorette party expenses, all of the girls sizes (for gifts!), bachelorette itinerary, what alcohol everyone is bringing to the bachelorette, what we need to bring to the AirBNB we rented, & what everyone has signed up to do/bring for the bachelorette. It’s a lot, but it keeps me on track at all times.
I forgot my dress spreadsheet for a while & kept having to ask the girls what color they got again… which resulted in 10+ emails from the chain (bridal part email chains are intense) back & forth. Be efficient, get your spreadsheets on point.
5. THE BACHELORETTE PARTY
We leave for Palm Springs this Friday & I can’t believe after months of planning, the Bachelorette weekend is seriously around the corner. Slightly stressing the fuck out, but also super excited to see it all come to life.
The first thing I did when starting to plan the Bachelorette, as I said, was creating the Pinterest board. The next thing I did was, go figure, make a spreadsheet. I referenced the Pinterest board & listed off everything from the board I needed. Then, went to Amazon & started filling up my cart.
When it came to decor & expenses for the bridesmaids, I split SOME of the costs. Things like balloons, cups, cutlery, etc. I split up. Things like pool floats I paid for myself because they’d come home with me.
I also handled the goody bags (post coming soon!). I was lucky to work with some great brands to contribute to the goody bag, but anything I had to pay was out of my pocket. I feel like it’s weird to make the girls pay for their own presents??
We have kept MOST of the bachelorette party a secret from the bride, but in the beginning we asked her if she had any MUSTS. Did she want a stripper? Club or dinner? Pool day or bike ride? Other than that, hush hush.
OH- & invoice the girls after the bachelorette for what they owe. Don’t do it during or right before, that’s also is weird & could put a damper on things. Not a great way to start off a fun weekend. OH- one more thing about the Bachelorette! AirBNB let’s you divvy up the cost so if it’s too much to put on your credit card you can input all the bridesmaids email & it will send them an invoice. GENIUS, right?
OKAY- That’s it for now, those are the things standing out most to me… but again, I’ve still got two months to go! AM I MISSING ANYTHING? If you’re a Maid of Honor pro, chime in!