They Don’t Want You To Take Selfies

Okay, so today’s post is a little different than the norm & kinda long, but bear w/ me cause I think this is possibly one of my favorite posts to date.

I do a lot of scouring the web, & every so often, I find articles that hit me hard. I usually share on Twitter or Facebook, but this piece called “SELFIE” by Rachel Syme was so good I decided I needed to dedicate a whole post to it.

We live in a generation that many people can’t grasp, & when people can’t understand things, they jump to judgements.

Taking selfies is one of those things. There are people who strongly hate selfies, think anyone who takes them is an extreme narcissist, & partakes in a really awful thing known as “selfie-shaming”. I am sure some of you are already rolling your eyes, but wait, because I swear this post is going to change your outlook on the selfie in a big big way & help you embrace that front facing camera.

This article is incredibly thought provoking, beautifully written, & sheds light on the actual importance of the selfie in regards to empowerment & self-esteem. I do suggest you read the entire piece here, but it’s a long one so I summed up all the chapters below + shared my take on each one.

Whether you agree or not, I’d love to hear your thoughts (but be nice please, I know this is a bit controversial)! x, E

Chapter 1 | The Solo Selfie

“They don’t see where her image is headed, where it will take up space in the infinite. This is scary for them, this lack of control, this sense that her face could go anywhere, pop up anywhere.”

This chapter is about a situation we’ve all faced, judgement from others for taking a solo selfie (or 30). People automatically thing you’re a vain narcissist when they see you snapping away. Syme goes over the types of people selfies offend (men, jealous women, & the lonely ones), but only to come to the conclusion that “whoever they are, and for whatever reason they hate selfies, they are wrong.”.

Takeaway: YES- it’s time to normalize & embrace the selfie (read on)!

Chapter 2 | The Selfie in History

“Are you afraid of a person’s ambition to be seen? Where does that come from?”

This chapter is an introduction to three women in history, all photographers, who could have really benefited from the front facing camera.

Takeaway: selfies help you learn what you love about your face, hiding your face is showing your isolation, share yourself with the world, & taking selfies makes you ambitious.

Chapter 3 | The Selfie Definition

“Every human is given a body and a face and then spends the rest of his or her life trying to feel at home there. Worthiness is part of the basic package.”

This chapter clarifies what actually determines a selfie, & that is when it is taken of you, by you, & published by you. It is also an image that is shared. If you take a photo of yourself & never post it to Instagram, it’s technically not a selfie (who knew!).

It also discusses selfie shaming, the art of the duck face, how Kim Kardashian’s iconic selfie’s are empowering, & selfie politics (esp. in reference to the Kardashian clan).

Takeaway: anyone who tells you that you are not worthy to show your own face as much as you’d like is wearing their insecurities & ignorance on their sleeve.

Chapter 4 | The Selfie Haters

“The selfie game — posing, posting, interacting — is meant to be fun. But it is driving those who don’t know how to play to utter madness.”

Remember a while back, a group of sorority girls at a Colorado Rockies game taking selfies, per request of the commentator (for a contest)? They were spotlighted on the jumbotron & the commentators just went after them. The crowd joined in. The jabs were mean, insulting, & incredibly degrading.

This chapter expands on that newsworthy selfie moment, how women have gone about selfie shaming each other, Vogue’s declaration that the selfie stick is the most embarrassing invention of our generation (WRONG!), & a really interesting outlook on Essena O’Neill’s revolt against social media.

Takeaway: “Nothing destabilizes power more than an individual that knows his or her own worth, and the campaign against selfies is ultimately a crusade against widespread self-esteem.”

Chapter 5 | The Selfie Takers

“Selfies are an active conversation, one that millions of people are engaging with, taking on, wrestling with, falling for, and giving everything to, every minute of every day​. ​Hop into the feed or fall behind.”

I loved this chapter! Syme asked people to send her their selfies & a brief description of why they took the photo. Not much to sum up here, but it was really touching to see the meaning behind a variety of different types of selfies. I highly suggest you check it out.

Takeaway: you don’t know the meaning or importance behind someones selfie, so watch yourself before you make assumptions. See below for a breakdown of some of my personal favorite selfies.

Chapter 6 | The Author’s Selfie

“My hands and my phone are in love. They finish each other’s 140-character sentences.”

Rachel Syme, the genius author of this piece, breaks down WHY she loves her self(ie). She also shares her wonderful view on the art of editing.

The idea of people smoothing their skin or applying beautifying filter to their photos causes a whole lot of controversy, but Syme believes this is just another piece in the empowerment behind selfies. You are the model, photographer, & editor of your own photo & you have every right to show the world what you find beautiful in your face, regardless of the zit you covered up in FaceTune.

Takeaway: you own the copyright to your own face & you can determine what moments you feel need to be documented through your selfie’s. 

Chapter 7 | Who Should & Shouldn’t Partake in the Selfie

“your selfie is an artifact and a gift. People in your own time might not see it that way. They will call you narcissistic for giving birth to hundreds, maybe thousands, of fractured little selves. They will wonder why you need so much confirmation, so much attention, so much visibility. They will experience your face as an assault. Pay them no mind. Your selfie has already ventured off to the future, where all of us are dead.”

There is a long list of the people that shouldn’t (men who police women, feminists who shame selfies, etc.), but I much preferred the list of people who should, to name a few: the bullied teen who found a sense of community through social media, the heartbroken girl whose heart repairs a little with each double tap, the off duty model who wants to show the world she is a real girl, the Dad looking to connect with his children through their generation, etc. etc.

Takeaway: own your selfie, the selfie lives on, selfie = power. 

1. This photo was taken a day after I bought myself a car for the first time. This was a huge moment in my life, as you can imagine, so naturally I had to get a new car selfie!

2. I took this photo after a long day of eating greasy food at the county fair (such a hot mess) & I was wearing my best/strangest purchase to date- a t-shirt with Bitzy airbrushed on the front. It was impromptu, silly, & showed a real look at my life (& my obsession for my dog).

3. This photo was taken on one of the funnest trips I have ever been on, a weekend in Big Bear with the whole family for my Mom’s birthday. We ate at cozy diners, played board games for hours, & everyone painted birdhouses.

4. This was my first time in Copenhagen & we were getting tattoos, obviously a memorable selfie experience.

5. This was a BTS selfie after getting my makeup done for my first ever magazine shoot.

6. The day Zack & I moved into our new place together!!

7. This was on our second trip to Copenhagen & we actually started our trip in Sweden this time. It was our first day and it was freezing cold/raining, we accidentally got an AirBNB VERY far from town & were on our way to figure out the bus system.

8. My first time camping, which was quite an experience for me.