(VISUAL EVIDENCE OF MY LIFE AT 20)
SO this post all started out with an ASK ME ANYTHING on the gram… one person asked me “what would you tell your 20 year old self”. I started thinking & I had so many things running through my head. Where I was when I was 20? What I was doing? Who was I dating? Shit- was I in college yet?
TO RECAP WHAT WAS UP W/ ME AT AGE 20 I hit up all the photos I have hoarded over the years & was able to revive that exact year….
At 20 I was fresh out of highschool & in my first year of college at Cal State University Long Beach studying Fashion Merchandising.
My biggest memory of 20 is that I had a VERY hard time leaving home… & I was only an hour away. I remember the first day of getting to my dorm like it was yesterday. I knew NO ONE going to the same school as me, I was leaving my home, my Mom, my dog (Bitzy was a baby & couldn’t come w/ me), & my routine for the past however many years. I had a huge fear of the dorms- having to share a room w/ a stranger, shower shoes, having to eat in a cafeteria… basically, the whole thing freaked me the fuck out.
I sobbed when my parents dropped me off. I begged them not to leave me. I threatened to hide in the trunk of their car… & my parents said exactly what BOTH of their parents said to them (I guess fear of leaving home is genetic) “give it 2 weeks, if you want to come home after that, you can”. I don’t know if they would’ve actually let me go home, but I stayed past the two weeks… & onto four years.
SO- because of all of THAT, 20 was a defining year for me.
It was the year I dyed my hair platinum blonde, spent the entire summer before college on the beach, had so much collagen in my face, wore a tiara a lot (??), drove a stick shift white VW jetta (cause I was so basic), got my first apartment, was obsessed w/ my sidekick, didn’t fill in my brows, & experienced throwing up from alcohol for the first time. GOOD TIMES MAN.
All of this reminiscing got me thinking… I could share all the things I wish I could tell my 20 year old self ORRRRR I could poll my audience & see what everyone wishes they could have told their 20 year old self! WAY MORE FUN & wayyyyy more diverse!
I ended up getting HUNDREDS of responses so I pared it down to the best of the best advice for all you 20 year olds out there!! LET’S DO THIS…
20 Things I Wish I Could’ve Told my 20 Year Old Self
1. DUMP HIM!
HA. HA. HA. This was one of the most POPULAR responses & personally, the top of my list too. SOME OF THE VARIATIONS I GOT from my audience… dump the idiot. don’t stay with the asshole who cheated on you. forget the guy you are on again/off again with. He is NOT the one. Say no to fuck boys.
Yes, yes, yes. Who didn’t have a shitty boyfriend in their 20’s? Mine lasted way too long… should’ve snipped that fool years prior & although people told me- of course a 20 year old doesn’t listen. BUT LISTEN TO THIS- there are exceptions, maybe you met your soulmate early, but if he is a fuck boy- let him go. It is a huge waste of time & there IS someone way better out there for you.
2. start blogging & stop kissing toads.
I mean…. expanding on the above, the kissing toads part (duh), but I liked the “start blogging”. You don’t neccesarily start a blog- but find something EXTRA CURRICULAR you love doing that allows you to express your creativity. Find something other than drinking, partying, kissing toads, dealing with fuck boys, & SCHOOL that you love.
3. wash your face every night, drink more water, take care of your skin.
I know first hand when you have had too many drinks at a frat party that you forget to wash your face at night, or you drink more beer than water, so worry about your skin NOW while your collagen is flourishing. TRUST.
4. you are not fat, you idiot!
A lot of people said something along the lines of this, i.e.: stop caring so much about body image. be kind to yourself. be good in your own skin. you are not getting fat. you will get fatter.
SO SAD- but I am fully on board with this one. I remember back then ALWAYS thinking about & discussing my weight. I took Adderall cause I wanted to be skinny & had major body image issues. Looking back now, I definitely had body dysmporhia & want to SLAP myself. I was 10 pounds lighter than I am now & looked great!!! I look great now too… but to think back then I was heavy makes me so sad for my 20 year old self.
5. stop tanning in a tanning bed! seriously, stop
raise your hand if you had a heart shaped tan line near your nether regions *HAND RAISED*. I don’t even know if people still use tanning beds- BUT IF SO, STOP NOW. Get a tanning mousse & do it yourself. Save money, & your skin PLEASE.
6. stop freaking out about getting a job…
…travel now while your parents will pay for it! AMEN & I AGREE. I always wanted to work to make extra money to spend on clothes. Stop stop stop, even if you aren’t able to travel, enjoy being in college while your parents still support you. This is the ONLY time in your life moving forward you don’t have to worry *as much* about real financial shit.
7. don’t put all your eggs in one basket, diversify your income girl
but if you do need to work during this time or aren’t going to school- try a lot of new things to help narrow down what you are passionate about. Don’t get stuck in a job you hate. Start an Etsy story, get creative, & HAVE FUN WITH IT while you are still young. PLEASE.
8. Be true to YOURSELF
“stop worrying about who is watching you, do you!” YES.
“don’t worry about trying to please others, be genuine to yourself” YES.
“stop making decisions based off of others opinions, & do what makes you happiest” YES.
“life is too short to give a fuck what others think” YES.
“own your uniqueness. you’re a total babe because of it. your likes & dislikes don’t have to be the same as others. be unique, it’s a good thing. get to know yourself & LOVE it” YES!!!
9. don’t be in such a rush to grow up
ENJOY THIS TIME!! Time flies so live your life & don’t care what anyone thinks. Don’t be sad about stupid shit & just live in the moment.
The transition at 20 is a weird one & you naturally start to stress about all of life’s big decisions. JUST STOP right now. Soak up this moment, because you will be in your thirties before you know it & you will be in the same place whether you did or did not rush to grow up in your 20’s.
10. stand up for yourself…
…& what you believe in.
Twenty is the time to figure out who you are & what you stand for. Use your voice & be more of a bitch about what you believe in, if needed.
11. don’t worry if things don’t work out exactly as you planned
because there is something better out there for you! Life has a funny way of working itself out, so if something happens, trust the god damn universe.
12. don’t waste calories on that shitty beer
HAHAHA amen, I wish someone told me this when I was playing Edward 40 hands every weekend.
13. being cool doesn’t fucking matter, just finish your degree.
Everyone has different views on college. I am in the middle. I got a bachelors degree in Fashion Merchandising & a minor in textile development. My dream was to work in the work of fashion merchandising.
Does what I learned in school help me today? YES. I learned how to use photoshop & illustrator. General education did nothing for me, BUT… all in all, I think those four years are the most important when it comes to learning real life shit. I wouldn’t be where I am today if I didn’t finish my degree.
14. stop worry about the smallest things. you don’t end up caring.
A few variations from my audience included:
“I promise, this too shall pass.”
“Today is a thank you, next.”
“It won’t matter in a few years. don’t worry so much”
I couldn’t stress this one ENOUGH. When you are 20, everything is the end of the world. It is not. I would lose my wallet & sob like I would never recover from it- but in 2 years you will not remember losing the wallet so stop being so dramatic about the small shit.
15. invest your money instead of spending it at Forever 21
RIP to all of my money I spent a F21 when I was 20. Download the Acorn app on your phone to easily invest your money (it is free for college students & I WISH I had this when I was 20!!!).
16. let go of everything toxic & move the fuck on.
it is okay to outgrow & let go of people of people or things if they/it no longer brings you happiness & STOP HOLDING ONTO GRUDGES. I feel like this is a big one because at 20 you are in between two lives- your old life as a child & your new life as an “adult”. It is hard to determine what serves you anymore, but if there is something or someone holding you back from your “old life” it is OKAY to let that go & move on. Grudges & toxicity are bad for your health.
17. fucking listen to your mom.
I mean- do I even have to say this one? I feel like when I was 20 I was more rebellious with my Mom & she just “didn’t get it”. NEWSFLASH- she gets it more than you know. Listen to the woman. She is your best teacher.
18. you don’t have like dubstep!!!
Whoever submitted this one, I love you & I hate dubstep. HAHA.
I tried in college to get into the world of dubsteb because it was the big thing at frat parties, but always ended the night at the club that played old school rap music. Somethings never change, & dubstep still sucks.
19. do what scares you!!
take the opportunities that scare you because you like who you become because of them!! Whatever it is you think you couldn’t do- it is possible so go for it.
I was scared of EVERYTHING at age 20. Scared of going to college. Scared of travel. Scared of being away from my Mom. Just so scared, but I persevered & if I could tell you anything, just fucking do it. It will make you a better, stronger, more well rounded person.
20. you will find love & your sense of self eventually
I LOVE THIS ONE. I was very rushed in my 20’s so please, if you are somewhere around 20… be patient with yourself & just let life happen. Nothing will fall into place now anyways, no matter how much you want it. Embrace the process.